Worst gym or worst satire

By B. Crane
I toured the West Quagmire Building. The bikes go no where but are stationary. You can walk or run faster. There is not enough room to run without hitting a wall, so you have to do it on something called a machine. That is how the phrase hitting the wall occurred. Running on a machine and on the walking machine, you don’t get any where either.
The treadmill makes you stay in one spot and the floor moves. The bikes don’t have horns because you won’t cut any one off. They have no brakes and you look out the window at the people. Are you supposed to aim for the people? People on them are always tied in the race. I could beat them walking on the side of it, that is if I am not on a walking machine.
Someone forgot their college ID and gave in their driver’s license. To enter you don’t need a license to ride a bike that is broken.
Guess what? On the rowing machine you go no where either.
On the pulley it always goes back. The weight goes up goes down and hopefully the waist.
When doing sit ups, you go up and down also. When doing pull ups it never stays up.
There are good stretch machine for injuries. Not that you do it to get injuries. There is a leg press to press your pants. There are dips done but no salsa. Athletes are doing flies but no fly paper. They should try a zipper. There is a leg/arm extension machine if your clothes are too big. Watch your hips, there is a hip abductor machine. The scaffolding on the side of the building should have a big cobweb on it.

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